Spiritual Curse; I met Satan, and found out God doesn't exist

A very powerful spiritual dream (not like getting soul vored though :3)

I remember a little about the beginning of the dream, which lasted a very long time. The dream basically occurs in two distinct parts; Before death and after death. Normally, in dreams, my deaths are either painful, torturous, or generally caused by me fighting something I can't take. Rarely is death pleasant, but you all know what I mean by that.

So! To start off, the Earth, as a whole nation, was a few years down the road. I was about 27, I was working in my new job, and we just so happened to be somewhere else besides home, we were on a business trip demonstrating our new awesome software, it was me, Duane, Robert, and some other guys setting it up, when the news comes on every channel. This was strange, but, apparently, we had made first contact with an alien species; And it was immediately hostile. So, right away this became independence day, and these aliens were pretty stupid, the little green dudes in silver sport jackets. However, they did not have any super advanced technology, they kinda of operated like ants, they were running from something, found a edible, workable, livable planet, and started ousting the locals to make room for themselves. NOT a good idea to do to the human race, but, they didn't have magical ray guns or space ships or some shit like that, they took a more classic HL2 pod-rocket approach to deliver doses of this gas, which was largely ineffective to anything (they goofed, it just smelled bad to us.) So they had to actually physically drop ships down and start shooting; people took them out left and right, it was a marginally fair fight. However, somewhere later, after this long session of gunfights, espionage, and general camaraderie by our human species as a whole (it's amazing how race, religion, and personal barriers become meaningless when we are threatened as a species), we managed to stop them from invading any more territory, however, they had invaded one city successfully, putting ALL of their people in it to defend like mad while the probably built more weapons out of their ship. This was all after a interlude where we shot manned rockets into space to guided KO the mothership and all that, so we had wiped these guys out pretty easy, I don't think more than a couple million people died, really. That was a scene all it's own, and kinda goofy, and didn't involve me directly, but! Here were me, duane and robert (who is awesome with guns) holding fort outside of this colony, and the US government had given us permission to use this bomb.
This was no ordinary bomb, this was like one of my fictional (temporarily) AM-bombs, it had a very impressive yield with little or no radiation. Just a high energy magnitude blast, way more than a hurricane of volcano even! Unfortunately, it was a networked bomb, and had to be powered, as well as connected to a "SS~**.exe" something exe file with a laptop, and we all knew how this worked, and no one else nearby did, so basically, we were sentenced to death by the US government. But, as true americans, we do the best for the country, at all costs to preserve the nations future. So, we sneak into the city, lots of it was in shambles, destroyed parts, chunks of buildings missing, bodies everywhere, it was generally like HL2, but way better looking, this was a RL resolution dream. We had a lot of other people with us, and some indian kid, and some others, so we hook up this huge bomb stand. What they neglected to tell us, was that the bomb had a 10 minute timer! So we could leave and survive. (Get to zee chopper!) So, we set it up, and I was about to get in the chopper, when all three of us click... If we leave a POWERED, idle, easy to disarm bomb, it is VERY likely it will fall into enemy hands. I ran back to it, grabbed my gun, a Desert Eagle variant, and shot one of the little green guys that had approached. NOW we had to die, because the bomb had been seen. Of course, then the little alien dudes cut the power, so the bomb turned off. This was bad, and we spent a few minutes frantically building a power supply out of a vacuum cleaner and some bicycle we found and a rubber stopper. Robert was biking the hell out of it (distance runner) and me and duane were setting up a fake network on two laptops to keep the bomb 'alive', it took a while, but eventually we got the time to 00:00:00.0000, and the bomb didn't do anything. More precisely, it gave us a button to click. It was only me, robert, duane, the indian dude and an asian dude left, we could press the button and be instantly vaporized, saving the world from a new alien race, or we could not, and potentially kill off the entire human race...
I turned to duane, "...well, I love you guys. See you on the other side." and clicked the button.
Part two of this dream, however, was vastly scary, disturbing, and downright terrifying.
Right before I hit that button, I looked up to see the sky one last time, there were buildings in the background, I could see my friends faces, anguish and terror on them, but strong faces so that normal people couldn't tell. The sky was blue, buildings were greyish ashen, some on fire... Either way, When the bomb went off, there was no noise, there was no pain, just everything went and felt white...
Of course, I immediately, without ANY doubt in my mind, felt, heard, and was told directly by our God himself, that I was going to hell. It was a very overwhelming sensation, as if everything that ever mattered suddenly coalesced into a single, direct piercing beam of cognizance, all that chaos and randomness was really just the whim of some true god entity hovering over our planet, and deciding who was righteous enough to enter some mystical kingdom of heaven. I died a million deaths in that instant, a sort of super flashback to all the times I *could* have really helped people, but didn't. It was trite and meaningless though, and after that microsecond of pure intelligence, the whiteness began to fade, senses returned, everything begun to form into view... I was dead now, but I was also in hell... However, what hell REALLY is, as I found out today, would blow the minds of nearly every idiot that has a personal view of it. The same buildings, the street, the frame we had for the bomb, hell, even the bomb itself, everything was still there... except, it was entirely frozen with white. There were gigantic icicles on every structure, snow was constantly falling, the sky was grey with ashes, I looked around, robert and Duane were gone entirely, but indian and chinese dude were still there, looking around... Apparently, hell isn't personal! We tried to talk, but we could make no sounds. We could see, smell, fear, touch, and hear, but we could not produce sounds. I walked over, using normal hand signals to try and talk to the indian guy, trodding through the snow, but he looked very spacey, and his face distorted slightly, warping, bubbling a little, getting slight boils... I was freaked out, and ran away, noticing there were an awful lot of people here, most of them I had never seen, zombies walking around in this grey purgatory. I ran over to where people seemed to be moving, and was greeted with more of the central city, huge blocks of ice on everything, icicles connecting floors of buildings, meters and meters of it all over the tops of things, but not so much the ground, as if a sleeting rain had fallen but never touched earth. As I walked as fast as this ethereal body could carry me, I noticed my speed was capped, I began to sore and hurt, as if the very act of motion itself was impossible in this realm. I saw other people collapse, and get swallowed up by the snow, disappearing into the fine white powder, to how knows what kind of fate. Never the less, I plodded on, this wasn't anything too weird, after all, having Raesir as a friend, I'd been through worse. Eventually, the number of people turned into a crowed, all trying to push their way through this small corridor, beyond there was color! Apparently, this snow and desolation was merely another illusion, and beyond this special passage was a second state of hell itself... of course, as I approached the crowd, I was tempted to push and throw people out of the way. that desire became very strong, and suddenly, in the back of my mind everything stood up on my neck, pure terror struck my heart, and everything for me froze. In this real, a temptation to perform evil deeds was truly manifested within 'Satan' himself, by succumbing to temptation, HE would appear and offer you trade or a bribe... for me, Satan was nothing more than, well, I say nothing more, there are no words in which I can describe the terror of being that close to a true god, this overpowering sensation of worthlessness, belittlement, and sheer terror at a greater power, driven into you by the flames of some lower level of heaven. For me, this fiery goat skull rose up from the ground next to me as I was paralyzed, the jaw moved to talk, spewing hot flames slightly as it did so, the skull could deform and smirk, it was quite the true demon. What it said though, was more terrifying than I think I can explain, Try to imagine the 'Mother language', a literally universal language for ALL life, in which basic concepts are communicated through verbal words, a lost, ancient and powerful language, most people often associate it with 'magic' though words do absolutely nothing, THESE words are potent when spoken from the mouth of the devil. I don't remember what it was saying, but that low grizzled tone and high pitched screechy laugh made me lose everything, I had to get away, but I couldn't! In a puff of smoke after laughing at me, the flames of hell vanished, time resumed from where it stopped, and I fell down, shaken badly, curling in the fetal position to try and recover, but was immediately remind that the snow on the ground was actually a living thing, and got back up, brushing it off of me as best I could before I was enveloped by an apparently mass of dead souls; the snow itself was the collection of discarded configurations of souls, each just a small snowflake, each one unique, and entirely worthless. I shook my head, my heart rate was to high so I want to lean next to the wall, watching more people come to that gate. As I noticed before, these people were fucking horrible, they all had scarred, boiled faces, tears and streaks of red, blistery, damaged beings. this extended to their arms and legs, they were like no zombie I had ever seen; they were still humans, but very bad off humans. I decided to follow the crowd, and got in line, still breathing fast, heart down to ~ 190 or so bpm now, maybe some mindless droning would help. As I was shuffled through the crowd, I noticed that not many people were coming out the end of the tunnel, and I began to suspect a trap, though, as I got to the end, I merely stepped into the colored region, turning around, I saw all these people, which all had on the same black to dark brown robe & hood, turning to snow and their clothes being sucked into that living mass, from the other end of the line, if you didn't look up, you would never notice that you were simply being devoured by a large mass of things that all do the same thing for eternity, a cycle for all dead to start, and never finish, constantly desiring more, which should click for a Buddhist practitioner, that 'desire' is certainly an evil!
I was not sure why I was able to pass, but as I looked around, this place was the same, except minus the snow and ice from dead souls. there were people looking up here, there was the asian dude and the indian dude, they were walking around, some sitting on things, nobody was moving very fast, it seemed like a solemn, entry level to heave sort of deal, however, their bodies and faces were still just as scarred. I walked by, people could talk here, but they could only speak their heart, making raspy, hoarse whines to eachother, some were able to sing, some were not. No voice was used, the 'Mother language' was the only voice heard, and it did not come from the mouth. I walked past all these people, I went to the people I knew, and tried to say something, but my heart made a different sound, it made a 'ufff' sound, like pushing air out of a balloon. I wasn't sure what it meant, but, it immediately made people more calm around me, they looked at me suddenly, and some of their wounds healed. I was freaked out, and I ran again, trying to press in the same direction as before, but the people that heard me began following, suddenly turning darker, and more zombified. Apparently, Satan had given them a 'want', and they accepted. I began running, and He appeared again, right in the tunnel I was running to, a larger skull this time, big enough to block my way, if he wasn't already scary enough. It laughed, and said more things in a language that tore me to shreds, I understood what he was saying, of course, and it was something like 'You fool, you only cause others to suffer by trying to help, do you not think they realize their pain? You shall burn for this! You will be mine! I am!' and so on, extremely dominating, aggressive words, but contextually he was just telling me to give up, and give my soul to him for whatever reason. I jut waited, after he vanished, he burned me a little, I had to put out my coat and continue to run from zombies, if he didn't kill me, they would. But I vomited blood along the way, it was darker red than it should be, I felt really bad at this point, making past another tunnel to yet another stage of heaven, I turned around, those zombies were melted to bones at the end of the tunnel, the bones clattering down through a grate designed for it, skulls and cages rolling off to the side to feed THAT never ending cycle. Again, I was mystified as to why I was here, I noted that people here were generally better looking, and that asian guy and indian guy were here, so they made it too! these people could speak verbally, and we all spoke my language, if they talked, I heard english, if asian guy was listening, I was speaking mandarin chinese to him and so forth. People nodded to acknowledge my presence, they were moving about more, and this hallway was a big T shape, people were skiddish, talking about demons that took them away, and other horrors. Well, every time a new person enters, a new demon tries to eat one of these people, so, naturally, that happens, and we all run left in the T-shaped intersection, which had lots of boxes, and a halfpipe at the end that sloped down into a long bridge across a pit full of something, I didn't bother looking, a demon was chasing us! I turned around, and watched it rend some poor guy of his flesh, drinking the blood like a freaking capri-sun. After he finished, he just threw the shreds into that pit and stomped off the right direction in the T, which, was weird, because that must be the way it always happens. Again, I was in another level of heaven, and this was the highest level I could get to, apparently, as this looked exactly like real life now, except, people all had on the same style of clothes, this tweed robe in any color that person liked, with optional belt. our group looked about, there were fewer people here, but, there were also a vast amount of temptations here as well, fast food, movies, cars, commercial things... it was a city, it was still a little white painted, and we split up, I wandered around the streets, looking around. My robe was more white with gold, I don;t know why, I guess it was fitting to me. There were no cars driving, in fact, people I saw getting into cars disappeared, so I observed that everything here we were used to was probably just a demon or the Devil in disguise, so I went to the movie theater to observe masses of people wanting entertainment, or something else to hold onto, there were posters that looked like an everyman from that 'A Scanner Darkly' movie, I watched people for a while, and asked someone what the ticket price was, and they said they didn't care. My own personal vice began to gnaw at me, and I went to the KFC next door, I was about to get in line, but that familiar feeling crept up, and I saw a flash of flames to my left, so I watched instead. People went up to the counter, ordered some food, and then turned to leave, but, really, they never left, it was like they kept going, but they were gone, skeletonized, and sucked into the ground upon leaving the door, but only when out of sight of me. This was frightening, but after surviving all those trials, I knew something was entirely wrong with this, why was *I* one of the only ones able to see these things? I noticed other people like me, wandering around with similar white robes, but different colored belts. I talked to one of them, but they instantly turned to ashes when Satan appeared, larger than ever, still just a giant 20ft tall goat skull bathed in searing flames, yelling the loudest, most hateful and crushing words I could ever imagine, I fell to my knees, I couldn't do this much longer, I knew it, but I had to do something, He would just keep explaining to me all the evils that life and the afterlife consisted of, telling me about sentience, it's burden, it's necessary role in some sort of spiritual foodchain, and continually telling me I could never do it, I could never make it, and how I was already as good as a slave. I looked up, after a while, my eyes were bleeding, my nose was bleeding, and I knelt there and coughed up more, trembling as my body started to finally give out. I stood up though, and began wandering more zombie like, eventually, days later wandering myself into a large warehouse at the end of warf connected to the city, there were a few other people here, nobody was here that did not have a white robe though. I remember walking around for a bit, the place was dark, alone, easy to gather your thoughts in. It was the most comfortable place I had found in Heaven thus far, and that's when I began to flash in and out of this place, I could flash forward to see Duane, he was exalted, eating some small meal at a white table in an all white room, chatting with his friends and relatives that made it to that same place, but... I knew something else too. Satan was right, of course, although heaven may be something we are used to on earth, and something we find simplicity and comfort in, there will always be something else we desire, it is our nature as living beings to do so, and the entire reason true gods like Satan created this place, to feed off the suffering of the living. I laid back and let myself sink into the floor; I was defeated. But that didn't happen, everything just sort of whited out, back to a grey background with little white flakes falling from the sky, everything else just became muted, and that was the end.

So, as a commentary, yes, I said it a lot, but there really is no way to describe the power of being spoken to by a real god; Satan is actually 'the' god, in case you christians were wondering. 'God' does not exist, it's just 'Satan'. Also, to explain what I mean by a 'true god, you have to understand how the universe works; Put simply, a true god has absolute control over their region of mass influence; IE, they are bound by all normal 'gravitational' laws, but can do with that matter as they please, altering perceptions and creating real things and events as they wish. Of course, their influence is directly related to the mass density of things they are near enough to, so they are not 'all powerful', nothing is, or ever will be. Also, when I refer to the mother language, the symbols spoken within it do not sound like much I had ever heard in my life, they were sounds, but also accompanied by feelings, you were forced to think a certain thing when hearing it, not because that was what you heard, but it was also a totally sensory overload to feel that word.

I feel pretty messed up today; It's not often I have to confront something like Satan.